Rampage

Valentines, schmalentines

Hannah Trimble, Rampage Reporter

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The worst holiday of the year is coming up. That holiday is Valentine’s day.

I, for one, do not enjoy Valentine’s Day, although I do take advantage of the cash steals occasionally. Now I don’t hate this holiday because of the typical “they shove love down our throats and it’s annoying” concept, but for many other reasons.

Most of these reasons include the sudden expectation to treat your significant other like you should anyway for one day only. What kind of horrible mentality is that? It’s the 14th of a random month so now you have to perform basic human decency to me for 24 hours and MAYBE we can even open the car door for each other. People expect so much more out of others just because of the date, and it makes no sense to me. If you’re in a relationship, you should be in one where you respect each other every day, not just one day of the year where you both suddenly deserve flowers and a guitar serenade.

Although this holiday includes these stupid standards that no one should participate in, I guess it’s still going to exist. Therefore, people with the same general opinion about the holiday are going to have to find something to do whilst the other portion of the population smells roses.

My recommendation in this season of love is to watch some classic rom-coms. But wait, there’s more! You have basically three options: you can make fun of the movie (as there will be plenty of opportunities to do so), you can sleep, or you can actually watch the movie. All great options with mediocre outcomes at the very least.

A list of recommended movies of the sort include:

  • The Last Song: It’s pretty good, but mostly because the main character has good taste in literature (Tolstoy, etc), even though it’s a typical  Nicholas Sparks plotline…
  • Adventureland: One of the best movie soundtracks of all time, in my opinion. It’s got a great plot, and it’s basically just a feel good movie with a little drama sprinkled in, and it also highlights just how much summer jobs are the worst. (Also, not the unrated version, as I am not allowed to recommended it in a high school paper)
  • The Notebook: I actually hate this movie, and I can’t stand it enough to write much about it, although it is a great one to sleep through because literally NOTHING happens. For some reason, though, it’s some sort of ‘classic’ so I felt the need to add it to the list.
  • Christian Mingle The Movie: honestly one of the worst things ever made, but it’s on Netflix and is the actual best thing ever to make fun of. I haven’t personally been able to get all the way through it, because it’s really just horrible, and I don’t have the willpower. The plot lines are actually atrocious but it features the actress that played Gretchen Wieners in Mean Girls, so that has to be worth something, right?
  • The Longest Ride: This one has a great laugh-to-cringe ratio because the acting is atrocious, and it’s also another Nicholas Sparks cringe-plot. Also the old man is funny and his story is cute so nevertheless, it has made it to the list.

Due to the weather, we are a bit behind in getting some of our articles posted. Even though these articles are not as timely as we would like, the writers worked hard on them and we want to be sure the work is shared and published. 

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Valentines, schmalentines